Don’t Look Down On People In Bankruptcy

What is one of the most important things you probably want to tell your bankruptcy lawyer?  That you are not a bad person and you never imagined you’d ever have to talk to us.

But if you feel like you can look down on others who file bankruptcy (whether you need to or not), you should stop.  Not just because it makes us feel like we run a VD clinic (we’re used to that).

But also because almost no one enjoys filing bankruptcy.  I don’t remember ever having a client overjoyed at the thought of filing.  Racked with guilt?  Sure.  Terrified?  Often.  Embarrassed beyond belief?  Every time.

People in bankruptcy are your neighbors, your friends, your colleagues at work.  They’re the young lady who checks you out at the grocery store and the fireman who saved your mom’s life last year.  Having to file bankruptcy is as varied as the people you meet every day in your life — as are the reasons they have to do it.  And almost none of them could have done very much to avoid it, in the long run.

It’s like being hit by a car.  You might have not gone down this road or you might have taken the bus.  But realistically many of the things that push you over the financial edge are beyond your control.

But everyone feels entitled to look down on their neighbors who need this help and have no more options open to them.

It’s as though we are a nation of people who think they’re the Ant in the Aesop Fable and we enjoy being able to look down on the Grasshoppers among us.  They incurred debt they cannot pay back, what poor planning!  They didn’t know there was a chance they’d lose their job, how short-sighted!  How could they not know the mortgage payment would skyrocket?  They deserve what they get!

Only, most people don’t.  They may have made mistakes.  But we all do.  The most interesting thing about practicing bankruptcy law is the number of people who should have known they couldn’t make it — but had no idea they were in trouble until someone else (like a creditor) did something (like raised their rates) that makes them face reality.

My personal guess is that 75% of the people who file bankruptcy did not expect it only a few months earlier — even though it took years to get into trouble.  If I’m wrong, it’s on the low-side.

America is a nation of Grasshoppers who think we’re Ants.  And it makes us unwilling or unable to recognize when we’re in trouble — when Winter is here — until it starts snowing very badly indeed.   I think I know why.  Because we look down on people who “fail.”   Not only do we look down on them but we take a little pleasure in suddenly “being better” than they are.

But by looking down on others, we blind ourselves.  We imagine we are actually different than everyone else.  And we avoid dealing with problems we have in our own home until it could be too late.  Almost everyone who comes to see me should have come in at least 6-months early, sometimes years ago.

So, yes, you are different.  Just like everyone else.