Don’t Ever Buy Thoughtlessly or you will have DEBT. If you review your spending patterns you will see that you did not think twice about many of your purchases. As a result you ask yourself down the road, why did I purchase ***? In the past I have written about changing your mind set before you purchasing but KLove added another twist today with a story about a cheating spouse as a result of their lying regarding purchases. Either the spouse lied about what they purchased, the quantity or the cost.The very essence of any relationship either personal or professional is trust. Without trust how can one build a relationship? The commentator was explaining that lying about purchases does several things. It begins to break down the relationship because of the lie, it has a tendency to place your further into debt and it attacks your own psyche. I wrote a blog recently about Galatians 5:17 and the struggles we face everyday with our psyches. Life is tough enough of it is, without a healthy relationships the struggles we face only gain in intensity and strength.
According to this study the stress level amongst married couples due to debt related problems is on the rise. That fact alone I am sure is no surprise to anyone reading this. So how do you stop the roller coaster of debt, fear, fighting and stress? Take a deep breath and don’t create DEBT or Don’t Ever Buy Thoughtlessly. Determine a certain amount such as $250 or more that one can spend without asking. Then for every purchase above and beyond that amount the purchase must be analyzed by the both of you in the same room.
The analysis should include the pros and cons of that purchase. Ask questions. Can we afford to pay cash? If the answer is no how much and for how long do we have to save to make that purchase? Will the purchase place a financial strain on the relationship? Ask yourselves again is it worth putting a strain on our relationship for this purchase?
After you have analyzed the purchase, then and only then (as long as it is not an emergency) should you make the purchase. This will give you a chance to make a smart purchase together. Both of you will be on the same page so neither one of you feels left out and resentment does not enter the picture. This is a way to build trust in your marriage and your financial relationship. This exercise is not the end all be all to eliminating stress in the marriage due to finances but it will go a long way to repairing the damage that may have been done by hiding or lying about financial information. Everyday is a new opportunity to begin again.
Remember that knowledge is power and the more knowledge you have with regards to making purchases the more power you to make your marriage or relationship work smoothly and to allow the trust to grow.
Written by Kansas City Missouri Bankruptcy Attorney, Rachel Lynn Foley.
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